As I started my second week as an intern for a large animal veterinarian, it has been every more apparent that my dream job will include being a women in a man's world. My first day on the job we palpated almost three hundred cows and as I prayed for a lunch break so that I could take a pee break I noticed a truck coming up to the cow pens in which I frantically prayed..... please don't be someone bringing lunch....please don't be someone bring lunch, and low and behold it was someone bringing lunch. This meant for me that their was no pee break in site, I was either gonna have to hold it or find a tree to squat behind, well I held it, all 12 hours of it! With each new set of cow pens we visited and each new set of hundreds of cows I palpated, I constantly prayed for a lunch break that would have what I now refer to as a porcelain paradise.
This weekend my sister came into town and I started to feel like a women again as we spent some mommy daughter time shopping with dinner and a movie during her weekend visit. But like everything in life things don't always work out as planned, I awoke Saturday at midnight with chills, cold sweats, and liquids shooting out of every orifice. As I prayed for daybreak so that someone could help pump me full of Pepto, I realized it, yup I had food poisoning.
I had no choice but to pull on the big girl panties and cowgirl up Monday morning as I was too tough and too proud to call in sick! So as I played off the nausea as a simple gas of indigestion I prayed that our location would be porcelain paradise equipped....but you guessed it...NOPE. As I tried to force down the vomit that tried to creep its way up after lunch I was contemplating an escape route for my inevitable "episode" that was about to be the most embarrassing and possibly career ending moment. As the afternoon rain started to fall, Dr. G asked me to run to the truck and put away anything that couldn't get wet and I knew this was my one and only moment to escape the reticule of the cowboys who can fortunately whip it out at any moment when the urge hits them. I ran to the truck and desperately looked for "assistance" in the form of a paper towel and of course we were out, just as I thought it was too late I found a roll of cotton used to wrap horses legs and dashed into the bushes just in the nick of time. I escaped being completely mortified in front of half a dozen cowboys but will forever be known to my family as Luder Cotton Tail.